


When I Take Your Hand It's 'Cause I Want To

by ro_mm_ck



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:28:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ro_mm_ck/pseuds/ro_mm_ck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the calm in the storm comes from without.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Take Your Hand It's 'Cause I Want To

**Author's Note:**

> for faithbeckett who requested: Generation Kill - Brad/Nate - When It's Time - Green Day - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rxc1t6XsWSo I'm so sorry this took so long. I freakin' forgot!

It all came back like machine gun fire. Bright flashes of light burst through his mind as he woke up safe in his bed. It happens almost every morning anymore. All of the training in the world didn't prepare Brad for his return to regular life. It didn't give him back those first moments of every day where he had to remember exactly where it is he was. The training doesn't explain that it's more difficult to remind yourself you're safe in your own bed than it is to wake to the sounds of shouting and gunfire.

He stands from his bed, skin wrinkled with the imprints of cotton sheets and his mind still racing with the dreams he can't make himself undream. In these brief moments before he greets the rest of the world that his mind is filled with unfulfilled wishes. The tough ice cold exterior that earned him his nickname hides only too well the need for the comfort of his unit. The teasing jibes, the absolute understanding, the comradery... Fick.

It wasn't as if they'd chosen to find comfort in each other, but when it feels like time is ticking away and your commanding officers are only getting more and more stupid as the days roll by, you find strength where you can. With Nate came more than the simple understanding he shared with his Humvee mates, there was a calm that he brought with him. It was a calm that Brad has yet to be able to duplicate in any of his relationships since.

Brad smiles as he walks into his kitchen and scoops coffee into the filter, starting his morning routine. It's been two years now and they still call each other regularly. The calls have become more and more strained as if neither wants to hang up. Brad is grateful that he's got unlimited minutes on his cell phone or his long distance would be insane.

His cell phone belts out the rocking tunes of "Back in Black" by AC/DC from where it's still plugged in next to his bed. As the coffee brews and fills the air with its awakening scent, Brad walks to his bed and picks up his phone. He smiles as he sees Nate's name on the caller ID. It's as if Nate knew he was missing him.

"You psychic, man?" Brad asks as he shoulders the phone and walks back into the kitchen to make breakfast. "How'd you know I was up?"

"Are you kidding me?" Nate answers with a chuckle. "If you didn't answer the phone I would have thought you were dead."

"What? You tryin' to say I'm predictable?" Brad asked as he poured coffee into a mug his last girlfriend had given him that said "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" on the side and was chipped in several places.

"If you're not pouring your first cup of coffee right now then I'll eat my boots for breakfast," Nate said, the grin obvious in his voice.

Brad couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay. You got me. What's up? Why you callin' so early?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee and crack a few eggs into an already warm skillet.

"What? Can't a guy call his BFF just to talk?" Nate teased.

"BFF? Really man?" Brad said, rolling his eyes and poking at his eggs with a spatula.

"I'm coming down to visit your ass."

"When?" Brad asked, unable to stop the smile on his face. He nearly dropped the phone into his breakfast when he heard a knocking on his front door. "Aww shit man are you serious?"

He opened his front door to find his friend standing there with a duffle and a goofy grin on his face. "What? No welcome? Where's the tickertape parade, man?"

"You idiot! Get in here," Brad said, pulling his friend in the door and hugging him. Just like always, there was that moment where he realized they held onto each other longer than was completely normal, but it didn't occur to him to care. It'd been a few months since he'd seen Nate and he wasn't going to ruin the visit with the stupid girly feelings that had been creeping up into his dreams lately.

It sometimes felt that just the sound of Nate's voice was enough to put him at ease for a few days. The dreams of machine guns and endless days and nights would stop and he'd be able to sleep soundly. It wasn't something he was willing to discuss with Nate but it was something that was becoming clearer as the years went by. Brad wasn't willing to take away the comfort that his friend gave him to explain that his feelings had become much more than platonic over the last year. They may have even been that way when they were grunts together.

"Glad to see me?" Nate said as he pulled away from the hug and dropped his duffle on the living room couch.

Brad rolled his eyes and headed back to the kitchen. "You want some eggs?" he asked as he returned to the stove and ground some pepper into the eggs that were just finishing in the skillet. Nate nodded and sat at the small kitchen table with his feet up on the only other chair.

Brad couldn't shake the feeling that there was something so familiar and reassuring about this. He and Nate eating breakfast together, giving each other shit, and just generally enjoying being in the same breathing space. Taking a slow breath he cracked three eggs and put Nate's on a plate.

"So, to what do I owe this visit?" Brad asked, turning toward the table and his smiling friend.

"Just missed you, man. I had some time off, figured I'd spend the weekend if that's cool with you," Nate answered. He dug into his eggs like he had when they were stationed together. It was something you couldn't entirely rid yourself of. Marines had a tendency to eat fast and eat large quantities. You never knew when your next chance to eat anything but MRE's was going to come along so real food was met with fervor.

"Aww," Brad teased as he added pepper to his own eggs. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"Asshole," Nate said as he finished his eggs and stood. Putting his plate in the sink he hopped on the counter as Brad finished cooking his breakfast.

Brad glanced up to see Nate looking at him with an expression he hadn't seen in years. It was that calm appraising stare from the many moments in Iraq when things had gotten truly fucked up and there was nothing to do but deal with it. A moment later the look was gone and the easy smile was back in place.

A millisecond break in the wall, however, was enough. Between them, it was enough to explain the visit. It was enough to give meaning to hundreds of phone calls, to nights spent leaned up against Humvees talking, to years of finding a comfort and a hope in someone Brad had never thought could be anything more than a friend.


End file.
